Self Worth doesn’t need external validation. Here’s why.

A lot of people don’t look at you the way you look at them.

These could be the ones closest to you too. It could be a parent, a sibling, a significant other, a best friend.

They don’t see you in the light that you see yourself.

And that’s okay. It makes you feel anguished, angry, sad, disappointed, betrayed even.

That’s okay. But here things get a little tough for you.

It’s not their shortsightedness or their understanding of you that you need to ponder upon, but your “need for validation”.

This can be tough. This can be really hard.

When you are in this place, when you feel that people don’t cherish you as much as they should, maybe it’s time to meditate on that validation loop.

– What about them giving you importance is so profound that you are willing to lose your peace over it?

– What will that validation make you feel?

– How do you want to feel?

– And- then- what can you do to make yourself feel that way?

Let’s face it. We are all human. The opinions of those closest to us matter to us. What they think of us matters too, but how does one stop letting it affect one’s peace of mind.

I could be a world class coach/ mentor and my partner might think that it is a task to have a conversation with me. Too bad. It doesn’t reflect on them or on me. It just is.

It will probably take years to work through these. It’s a process, takes you strength to strength and takes time.

Don’t be too harsh on yourself.

But it’s time to break away from your conditioning, to become more mindful of you yourself and to realise that you are in the driver’s seat.

As children, we were never made to feel great about ourselves or given that opportunity. It was always relative. I was  considered to be good at Math or English only if I had done relatively well in class. And that gives rise to deep seated self worth issues.

Life is not a class of 60 students. Life is a jungle.

You don’t know which skill set you will have to pull up from within to make it through, and because there is no relative grading happening, we are forever wondering if we are good or not. If we are worth it or not.

Let me tell you something.

If you hadn’t been worth it- you wouldn’t have made it so far.

Choosing to think that you are worthless because other people don’t look at you a certain way is probably the easier way of being. It is tougher to continue what you are doing, to continue working at yourself and with yourself. And that is what changes the game for you.

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