A Letter to My Future Child

My Dear Love,

When you come into this world, it will be the most beautiful and the most scariest day of my life. It will be beautiful because you will make me so happy, but it will be scary because the thought of you ever being sad will make me sad. And my mind will start going places. I will start to think “how can I make sure you never feel sad, you never feel pain, you never lose hope”. It will be easy to hide all the pain in the beginning, but as you grow, it will become harder, and at one point it will become impossible.

So I won’t pretend, I won’t lie to you. I’ll cry in front of you, I’ll feel sad in front of you, so you know, it’s okay, it’s okay to sometimes feel blue. And pain is no reason to stop going, you have to keep going, kindly, calmly and compassionately, keep one foot ahead of the other, and keep going.

What you mustn’t do, my love, is simply decide not to feel pain because it’s easier not to care, because how can anybody hurt you if you don’t care about them. But Love, if you do that, if you decide not to care, you hurt more, you collect all the hurt and pain for a long time and one day it all comes out like water from a whale’s blow hole.

You must feel, my love. Pain, love, happiness. All of it. You must feel.

After all, that is what it means to be alive!

 

Love,

Ma

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